So, a woman in Pittsburgh, named Ashley Todd, claims to have been mugged at an ATM last night. And when the mugger saw the McCain sticker on her car, he began punching and kicking herand then he used his knife to scratch a “B” into her face. The woman refused medical treatment at the scene, and the ATM security camera caught none of it. Here’s a photo:
Not buying it.
First, if someone just beat you, robbed you, and held you down long enough to carve a letter into your face, medical treatment might sound pretty good wouldn’t it? At least a little rubbing alcohol to clean the wound? That knife was in a filthy Obama supporter’s pants for God’s sake!
Second, how easy is it to carve a B into the skin of a struggling woman’s face? Those loops are perfect! We assumed it would be in a kind of Def Leppard, scratchy font. There’s a reason Zorro didn’t take the name Borro. B’s are tough!
Third, not to belabor it, but we would have drawn an “O.” It’s easier, and more immediate.
Fourth, he attacked her while she was withdrawing money, but the ATM camera didn’t catch it. Course not. And we’re betting none of the other security cameras in that parking lot caught it either.
Fifth, the B’s backwards. Sure, the photo might have been flipped at some point. Or she might have pulled a Morton Downey Jr. and did it herself in a mirror without thinking things through.
Sixth, how exactly did he make it clear that it was her McCain sticker that instigated the second attack. Did the mugger shout, “McCain-Palin! Why I oughta…”
Seventh, and finally, what makes her so sure the mugger was an Obama supporter? Could’a been a Bob Barr man. Two B’s! Just sayin’.
We’re not saying she wasn’t attacked. We just don’t buy that her mugger was so politically motivated and adept at knife calligraphy that he decided to risk arrest by holding the woman down and carving a backwards B into her face (because an O is too easy and he wanted to demonstrate how much this statement means to him). For now, our money says she did the “B” herself.
If more evidence comes to light that proves her claim true, our hearts will go out to the woman. Until then, we’ll keep our hearts in our chests.
Update: More evidence is coming in, since the police have noted several inconsitencies in her story, and she’s already changed some details.
NEW UPDATE: She made it all up. Thanks Ashley, this has been fun!
Hi folks, I know we’re usually really comedic and like to have fun over here, but there’s something very important going on right now that needs to be addressed. 
So what’s the deal? Is his fedora on too tight? Is his use of color mirroring his 
